


A Thrill of a Lifetime

by RumbleFish14



Series: Cut Scenes [11]
Category: Shameless (US) RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Behind the Scenes, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Feels, Infidelity, M/M, Realization, Season/Series 10, Secret Relationship, Shameless, Slow Dancing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wedding Fluff, mosher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:09:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22484287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RumbleFish14/pseuds/RumbleFish14
Summary: Cameron and Noel battle with their intense feelings for each other while Shameless is filming their on screen wedding
Relationships: Noel Fisher/Cameron Monaghan
Series: Cut Scenes [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310828
Comments: 41
Kudos: 102





	A Thrill of a Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so more Mosher cuz I love it 😁
> 
> This seemed to take ages and I feel exhausted so I hope you enjoy it
> 
> And the dates were more for me so I didn't confuse myself 😆

A Thrill of a Lifetime  
(Mosher)

(Early October, 2019; Los Angeles)

"I'm really nervous Cam." Noel said for the millionth time that morning. It didn't matter that Cameron spent the better part of 12 straight hours reassuring him that it would all be okay. He was nervous. "What if I slip?"

Cameron gave a soft smile as he pulled on his baseball cap. "Baby, you won't slip, okay? We haven't slipped in like eight years."

That was true. Although Shameless had been on air for ten solid years, they were only together for eight of them. Since Cameron was seventeen, going on eighteen. And in all those years, they hadn't slipped up more than once. 

For one, they were experts at it by this point, and two, they had too many people watching them at any given time. Their friends, the crew; their bosses, family, not to mention Layla...or the dragon lady as Noel liked to call her. 

Why they were still legally married; Cameron had no idea. He didn't think Noel did either. They just were. It made things unbelievably hard for them, but so did staying on the down low. 

That was a mutual decision, although when things got stressful; like all couples, they blamed each other. 

Noel pegged him with a hard stare, one hand gripped tightly around the rolled up script. "Cam, you almost slipped up a few times. It gets me all pink and flustered."

"Yeah, but I like when you get like that." Cameron winked, trying to lighten the mood. When it didn't work, he sighed softly and moved slowly up beside him, grabbing the walls for balance because of his leg. "I'm sorry, okay? I've said it a million times and I'm sure I'll say it again after but we are already late."

The scowl slipped effortlessly as he looked at the clock. Late. As always. 

"Fine. Let's go." Noel said and grabbed his sunglasses, let Cameron move through with his crutches first, then locked the door behind them. "Just don't slip again today, okay? It's gonna be hard enough to stay in character without any added tension."

Cameron put a hand on Noel's shoulder, keeping him from moving too far off the porch and into the world's view. "I promise, I'll do my best Noel." Sad blue eyes looked up at him, filled with the tears that were meant for later. "It'll be hard for me too."

Today they were filming the beginning part of the Gallavich wedding. It would take place at Warner Brothers Studios, in a set made up to look like inside the Gallagher house. 

It was a small scene, just them getting ready to dress for the wedding, interacting with Christian and Ethan, then a little intimate scene.

That scene had Noel nervous, as it always did. 

It was the one time they could come out around people and let their emotions and feelings towards each other control the scene. It would turn out epic, as always, but letting your emotions out like that on camera, in front of witnesses who had no idea; made it hard. It was even harder to rein them back in and continue on as 'co-workers and friends.'

They had to do it, and it always took a big chunk out of them. Like a little of their soul was being lost each time it happened. How long before it became too much and they couldn't hide anymore?

"Hey, you okay?" Cameron asked in a worried tone. Noel's eyes had gone a little dark, something that happened when he was trapped inside his mind again. 

Noel blinked and nodded, smiling a little but Cameron wasn't fooled. "You know how I get with these scenes. It's hard to keep it locked away, then force it out, only to lock it back up again."

Cameron gripped the back of his neck, bending a little to press their faces together. "I know. I feel it too. Maybe it won't be so hard soon."

Noel slid his hand up Cameron's chest, feeling the ring he gave him on a chain around his neck. "Until this show is over, we have to."

Cameron put his hand against Noel's, squeezing. "Just a little while longer baby. Come summer, we can figure it all out the way we need to, okay?"

It was hard not to cry, even when that moment wasn't as emotionally crippling as some had been. He could feel the wetness in his eyes. "Promise?"

"I promise." Cameron whispered back, then allowed himself to kiss Noel's lips lightly before he pulled back. "It'll all be over soon. Then we can begin."

That promise, one that had been said countless times over the years, was the only thing that kept him hopeful. The only thing that allowed him to get up out of bed with a woman he didn't love and a house he didn't need. 

Love was a powerful thing. 

"You wanna drive?" Noel decided to push that subject away for a moment and dangled Cameron's keys. "Or does your leg hurt too much?"

Cameron smiled, allowing the subject change, and together they walked away from the house. "It's okay for now, but driving will make it harder to stand today."

Noel kept the keys and moved to Cameron's Jeep, opening the passenger door for him. "That means I drive." He nodded, smiling when Cameron had to force himself to sit down without kissing him. "They got your house on lock Cam. Probably bugged your shower."

The crutches were tossed into the back as Noel moved around and got in. The second he started driving, Cameron's hand landed on his thigh. He didn't look over, but the smile on his face was instant, as was Cameron's when he squeezed. 

"So, you ready for this?" Noel asked as he drove. Keeping his eyes on the road. 

Cameron shrugged. "Yeah, as ready as I usually am. Normally we have more naked scenes before the end of the season, and we haven't yet."

The conversation was light, just small talk really, but already Noel was feeling that ever present anxiety creep up his spine. "Yeah, makes it kinda weird. Aside from the half assed prison bed grinding, this'll be the first time."

Something about the way Noel said it had Cameron's hackles rising in warning. "Let's not talk about that right now. It can wait." He smiled when Noel's shoulders relaxed. "I kinda wanna talk about Ethan."

Noel narrowed his eyes as they stopped at the red light. "Okay, that's an odd switch. Why do you wanna talk about him?"

"Because we both know he has a crush on you." Cameron said as he laughed, when Noel shook his head. "Oh yeah, he does."

"Cam, he does not. I've practically been around since he grew up. Not to mention I'm like twenty years older than him." Noel said defensively. Once the light turned green, he focused on the road. 

"You're blushing." Cameron pinched his cheek. "How cute. And that's besides the point. You've seen me grow up and have ten years on me. Add another ten and it's pretty much the same."

The amusement was clear in Cameron's voice. He didn't believe Ethan had a crush anymore than Cameron did. But it had them both smiling, keeping the air lite until it was time for the heavy stuff. 

"Oh yeah, I guess we kinda have something going." Noel joked, winking when Cameron chuckled. "He's my little side piece."

"Yeah, that's what I've been telling everyone." Cameron shot back, in mock betrayal. 

The gate came along quickly, forcing them out of that happy, carefree zone and back to reality. The shift was noticeable. Just like people would notice they arrived together, and would leave together. 

Cameron wondered if Layla was lurking around somewhere, ready to fuck up yet another one of their scenes. 

"Ready to do this Monaghan?" Noel asked as the gate opened. He didn't look over but turned Cameron's hand over, laced them together and squeezed. 

"Always Fisher," Cameron replied honestly. "Always with you."

Maybe they had to hide for now, but it was as real as if they screamed it to the world.

**

(Warner Brothers Studios)

"Okay, so this part is fairly quick," John spoke as he moved throughout the set. "You two are taking a shower, then Cam walks out first, then Noel a few moments later."

The set consisted of the upstairs hallway in the Gallagher house, as well as the shared bedroom. Their scene, was supposed to be after the shower to get changed for the wedding, but it would cut long before that.

They were going to mimic the beginnings of sex before the door closed and that scene was over. Only issue was, he and Cameron were in towels, then had to touch as Cameron ripped his towel off….

Noel was as giddy as he was nervous. 

"Sound good?" John asked, looking back and forth. 

"Yeah. Good." They answered together, making them blush and John laugh. 

"Good, that's just what I like to hear." John opened the 'bathroom' door and waved his hand. "Noel, wait about a minute or so before you come out."

Noel nodded quickly as they walked in. He was fidgeting with his towel and refused to look at either him or Cameron as he stepped in beside him.

"Good to go." John winked and shut the door. 

"You're shaking." Cameron whispered so he wouldn't be heard and slid one arm around Noel's waist. "It's just me baby."

Noel finally glanced up, eyes blown a little as they focused on the width of his bare shoulders. "That's half the problem Cam," his eyes moved up, meeting the fire in his eyes. "Nothing even happened yet and I'm close to my limit."

The limit. Something so simple, yet effective for them as a couple, and them as co-workers and partners. They set a limit a long time ago, just because of scenes like this, or the overly emotional ones. 

Once either of them said "their limit' it was enough to let the other know that they might need a moment at some point during filming. Nothing as direct as words or signals, more like a look they shared. One to let the other know to take a minute and breathe through it all. 

Noel was almost at his and nothing even happened yet. 

Not because of the intimate scene between them, but more because their characters were going through the marriage motions and they both knew that option wasn't in their near future. It brought up some unresolved emotions. 

"Just breathe baby." Cameron held the wall with one hand, then smoothed up and down Noel's back with the other. "If it becomes too much, I'll forget a line and they can take a break."

So much could be said in response to that, loving words or a single thank you. But it didn't feel like enough. Noel did what he always did when he was unsure of himself; he kissed him. 

One that had Cameron moaning, cupping his jaw as he struggled not to topple over. Noel gave himself over to it for a split second before he pulled away. Breathless but grounded. 

"I love you Camy," Noel whispered, making sure their noses touched for a minute before he took his original position.

"Love you too baby, I got you, don't worry." Cameron kissed his temple before he stood upright. 

Moments later, they could hear the telltale sound of the camera starting. It was time to work. 

"Go get em." Noel slapped his ass lightly as Cameron opened the door and walked out. Closing it behind him. "Just a few moments and it's over. Just a few moments and its over." 

Repeating the mantra helped time pass, even as Cameron was giving his all on the other side of the door. The wall was thin enough to hear him talking with Christian and Ethan, stripping himself of the towel and waiting for his turn. 

His cue to open the door came quicker than he expected. Noel had to take a deep breath as he opened the door, then plaster a fake smile on his face as he walked out. 

Cameron was still talking, and just hearing his voice calmed him down in ways nothing else would. 

"Reverend Sally is doing the ceremony. She's Episcopalian and will marry anybody."

Noel kept his smile as he walked into the crowded room. His eyes moved to the two suits hanging on the bunk bed, and Christian holding one shoe. 

"Hey, those are nice, right?" Noel pointed, his grin widening the closer he got to Cameron. 

"Mmm hmm," Christan said in response. He tossed down the shoe and walked out. 

As Noel stepped up, Cameron's eyes were level with his groin. Heat pooled instantly, making him harder and harder the longer he hesitated. 

"You take your meds?" Noel asked, grinning.

Cameron pulled off his slightly annoyed attitude well, even when his eyes couldn't move up. Noel was hard for him, right in front of his eyes. 

"Yes."

Noel tipped Cameron's chin up, seeing green eyes dark and blazing with a fire only meant for him. "Good."

The moment Cameron gripped his thighs, Noel had to swallow that moan. It got even worse when those large hands moved to his ass for half a second, making their bodies slide together in that sensual way. 

Fuck, he was fully hard now and it would show the moment Cameron ripped his towel away. 

"You serious?" Ethan asked, also annoyed. 

Noel turned away from the way Cameron gripped his neck, to look at his co-star. His smile slipped, eyebrows narrowing. "Get the fuck out shit head."

Ethan stood, making Noel's heart pound in his chest. 

He turned back to Cameron, his head tilted back to look into his eyes for a split second before one large hand moved to his hips. He gasped, a sound which he hid in Cameron's neck, and the towel was ripped away. 

"Cam." Noel whispered, feeling Cameron's lips descend on his neck and that special spot that had goosebumps running up his arms. 

The door closed, which should have ended the scene..only Cameron's mouth was on him, softly driving him crazy. The only thing he could do for the moment was hold onto the side of his shirt and not grind forward against him. 

"Cut!!"

Even as John spoke, Cameron didn't pull away until he gave one of those wet kisses. The ones where you lick against skin, then slowly drag your teeth against it before your lips left the soft kiss. 

"You were amazing baby." Cameron said quietly as he moved away and grabbed the towel. 

"Yeah, you too." Noel wrapped the towel back around his hips. As his eyes were down, he could see the thin boxers Cameron wore were tented, quite noticeably. "This is gonna suck."

A few people came inside as they shared that last smile, picking things up and putting them back in their original spaces. 

Noel was offered a robe until he could find his clothes, and Cameron kept his eyes on him the entire time. He even caught his tongue poking into the corner of his mouth like he was dying for a taste. 

"Great job guys," John stepped into the room with a smile. "But we had a problem with sound, so I think one more take should work."

John and his numerous takes was not a surprise. They were lucky he only wanted to do one more instead of twelve. 

"Yeah. Sure. Anything we need to change up?" Noel asked, looking from Cameron to John. 

"Yeah, just a little piece. Cam, when you stand and pull Noel towards you, do it harder."

Their eyes widened. 

John laughed. "Not hard enough for him to knock you down or anything but make it look like that's what could happen. Got it?"

Cameron nodded. "Yeah, sure thing. Harder sounds better anyway."

Noel blushed, his face blazing hot as he turned away so John couldn't see it. "Doin it now?"

John shook his head, moving away. "Give or take a few minutes. Just make sure you're both in place soon."

"Need a break?" Cameron asked, keeping his voice low as to not let anyone else hear. 

"No, I'm okay. Hard, but okay." Noel smiled, making Cameron smile. "You need one?"

"A break won't make it go down." Cameron wrapped the towel around his hips, over his boxers so it was easy to take off. "Not much would."

Heat pooled in his groin. "And what would make it go down?" Noel asked boldly, eyes scanning the front of his body. 

Cameron winked, then put one arm around his shoulder as Noel helped him walk back to the bathroom. It allowed him easy access to his ear, practically speaking into it. "Only a few things make it go down actually. And it takes the right touch."

They reached the bathroom door without any odd glances. Just one co-star helping the injured one, nothing special. That shit happened all the time. 

"You are trying to kill me." Noel hissed as he led Cameron into the bathroom. The second the door closed, Cameron was on him. "Cam…"

Cameron shook his head, backing Noel up against the nearest wall. One forearm braced on the wall beside his head while the fingers on his other hand danced softly along Noel's lips. 

"Shhh, don't need them to hear us." Cameron towered over him, shivering the moment Noel's hands moved across his bare skin. "I thought you wanted to know what makes it go down."

"Oh, I do." Noel whispered, hands sliding down to Cameron's ass, squeezing until he came closer. Until he could feel how hard he was. "But if you go into detail we will both stay hard for the next take."

"I bet I can make you come in a few minutes." Cameron applied a little pressure to his lips, shushing him. "As long as you're quiet."

It didn't matter that they spent the entire night together. Between going over their lines and trying to stay in character, they'd fallen into bed more than once. Laying in sheets that smelled of sex, legs tangled together. Noel still wanted more. 

"Let me take care of you baby." Cameron begged, he moved his hand down to rest on the edge of the rolled towel. "It'll help you relax a little."

Noel was having a hard time breathing evenly. "The only way I'll come that quick, is if you use your mouth and with your leg…" the words got cut short the second Cameron slowly moved down to the floor, on one knee with his bad leg out to the side. "Fuck."

"I know by now what makes you come the quickest way." Cameron spoke quietly as he unwrapped the towel and let it fall to the ground. "And since we have limited time, I'm gonna do something else to make it even quicker."

His hips tilted, searching for that scorching heat that could only come from Cameron's mouth. "I won't be able to stay quiet." He gasped as Cameron licked up one side of his cock, making his eyes roll back. 

"You better." Cameron grinned, winking up at him. "Now, spread your legs for me."

The spread was instant. Noel held onto the towel rack behind him. Cameron was already sucking one finger into his mouth, moaning around it as he wet it with his tongue. 

Outside, he could hear people talking, moving around. Cast members and the crew, all busy working while Cameron worked him expertly behind a door with no lock. 

"Don't make a sound." Cameron warned just as he circled Noel's hole with a wet finger. He waited until blue eyes fluttered closed before he pushed it all the way in. "Not a sound."

Noel's mouth was caught open, halfway through a deep sounding groan. He slapped his hand across his mouth just in time for Cameron to give that deep chuckle before he swallowed him down. 

Overwhelming pleasure was instant. Noel's eyes couldn't stay open, no matter how hard he tried to watch. He wanted to see slick slips, molten green eyes and the bob of red hair, but it was too much. 

"Faster." Noel begged quietly, one hand in soft hair, pulling him up and down. 

Cameron picked up speed with both his mouth and his finger. Noel was sliding all the way down his throat just as that one long, skilled finger pressed right against his sweet spot. 

"Oh God." Noel bit his lip and let it happen. 

Maybe only lasting a few minutes was kinda shameful, but it happened every single time Cameron did this. He might have lasted a lot longer if there hadn't been so much sexual tension, but there was and he was dangerously close. 

"I'm almost there Cam." Noel spoke as quietly as the heavy panting would allow. "I need another one."

Cameron hesitated for a split second to make sure. When Noel nodded, he sucked him faster, flicking just under his head, and added another finger. 

It slid in easily, making his back bow. "Just like that, fuck." His eyes rolled back, his mouth dropped open. "Shit, shit, fuck."

Cameron let another groan loose just as Noel came down his throat. He drank him down, softly caressing the pulsing head with his tongue. 

Noel had to fist Cameron's hair, pulling a little for him to ease up. But he did, his fingers slipped out slowly, making his left leg shake. He gave one strong swirl of his tongue before he pulled all the way off.

"Damn Cam." Noel giggled, offering him his hand. He took it and Noel easily helped him up, keeping him standing as he wobbled. "That always makes me come so quickly."

Cameron licked his lips, making sure nothing got forgotten. "You're just worked up baby. You last much longer than that."

"On in 5 guys!" Someone yelled and beat on the door. 

Noel quickly pulled Cameron into a deep kiss, swirling his tongue inside just to get a taste before he pulled back. Breathless and flushed, but sated. 

"Thank you." Noel nuzzled his nose once more and pulled away. 

"Anytime baby." Cameron winked and adjusted his own problem just before the door opened and a make up artist appeared. 

"You two need any touch-ups?"

It didn't appear as if she knew anything, so they both nodded and stepped into the doorway. "Just a little on my face." Noel pointed to his flushed cheeks. "Kinda hot."

"Yeah it is." She commented, smiling as she applied a little foundation to his cheeks. "I don't think John meant you had to wait the whole ten minutes in here."

Cameron laughed a little as she moved to him, applying the same make up. "Yeah, probably not, but we made the use of our time. Running the lines again."

"Show offs." She smiled and put down her make up sponge. "You're all set guys. Ready?"

Noel and Cameron traded knowing smiles. "Ready."

**

(October 28th, Los Angeles)

Noel waited on Cameron's porch, eyes eagerly scanning the dark street. He felt exposed, raw, nervous even. Not because he was at Cameron's because that was normal, so normal he even had a spare key, but because he showed up without telling him. 

It was the night before filming the Gallavich wedding and they talked about getting together again, much like they do every time a big scene comes along, to go over lines and ease the anxiousness that rose during those times. 

Just like that bathroom scene around two weeks ago. Only instead of the morning of the scene, it was the night before. They talked a little about getting together, but it had been up in the air because of Layla. 

She knew he had the wedding scene for the next three days, which meant early mornings and late nights, mostly with Cameron. Which she didn't like. For a good reason.

Layla wanted constant communication, which he could do, as long as they weren't skin deep in each other. 

Cameron had no idea he was there because he hadn't called first because he didn't have his phone. It just left him in a weird state, wondering if it was still okay, if he was welcome as often as Cameron said he was. 

He should have known better than to question it. Cameron opened the door with that always present smile, one just for him. Noel smiled back and walked inside as Cameron held the door open for him. 

"Hey baby, you okay?" Cameron asked as he closed the door. He dug into his pants for his phone, which had no messages. "Thought maybe I missed your call."

Noel didn't answer right away. Instead, he gripped the elastic band of his sweats and pulled him closer, easily so he didn't hurt his leg. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just been a stressful day is all."

They knew that meant Layla so they didn't need to bring it up. They could communicate without speaking. 

"And sorry about not calling. I don't have my phone."

Surprise moved across Cameron's face as he held him close. "You didn't leave it at home did you? This is the first place she checks."

Layla randomly showing up at Cameron's house wasn't a surprise. When Noel didn't answer his phone either because he was actually going over lines or getting a little instant gratification; she showed up. 

It was a nightmare.

"No, I didn't leave it at home. I left it with Steve." Noel smiled when all Cameron did was blink at him. "She knows he's my second crash pad for work and if I'm planning on working all night, either she needs to hear us together or he needs to answer my phone."

Cameron knew Steve knew. They'd been sneaking around for years and Noel had roomed with Steve for a season or two, but they'd never brought it up before. Like an unspoken rule. 

"He's okay with that?" Cameron asked as they broke apart and moved further into the house.

"He doesn't approve of the cheating, but he understands and helps when he can." Noel took a seat on the couch. Surprised to see Chinese takeout already on the coffee table. Enough for two. "You expecting someone?"

Cameron winked as he took the seat beside him. "Yeah, my boyfriend was coming over. He was supposed to call but never did."

Noel's smile filled his entire face. He leaned into Cameron's arm and stayed there. "Sounds like a jerk to me."

"You'd think, but no. He's actually really sweet." Cameron kissed his temple, then his ear. "And incredibly sexy so I can't be too mad."

Being with Cameron was so easy, so relaxing. Even now, the talk was lite, easy going. Joking even. It kept things from getting too complicated. 

"He sounds like a peach." Noel whispered as he tilted his head enough for their noses to bump together. "I missed you."

Cameron's hand stroked the side of his face, thumbing the laughing lines around his mouth. "I missed you more baby. It's been a while."

A while for them was a few months. But the longer they were together, the harder it was to be away from each other. Lately, a few days apart was excruciating and it had been two whole weeks. 

Secret texts and late night calls could only get them so far before it was too much. 

"A day is awhile," Noel gave a sad smile, which Cameron copied. "Two weeks is hell."

"Yeah it is. But we have tonight, all to ourselves. Then two or three days after for work. We'll be seeing a lot of each other."

"I'm not really in the mood for food." Noel leaned into Cameron's hand. A shiver ran down his spine when his fingers curled into his hair. "I just want you."

Cameron smiled, brushing over his lips. "I may be a little stiff, but I'm not gonna say no."

It was easy to forget Cameron was hurt. Even when the limp and the leg brace was always there. He didn't let it hold him back, and it didn't. It just made it hard to remember wild, crazy, bed breaking sex wouldn't always be possible. 

That got Noel to back off a little, but Cameron kept him close. "Maybe we shouldn't. We have three busy days ahead Cam. Don't need to make it worse before work does."

"I was planning on getting you naked more than once tonight." Cameron let his voice carry that growl Noel loved, it had him shifting beside him. "Might as well start now."

While one of Cameron's hands was on his cheek, the other had slowly been working its way up the inside of his thigh. Pulling soft gasps from him as he spread his legs. 

"Cam…" Noel went to argue when Cameron bit his bottom lip, pulling it before he let it go. After that, there was no saying no. "How?"

Cameron grinned, then stood, pulling Noel up with him until they were almost on top of each other. "You might have to ride me. That way I don't bend it the wrong way."

"Fuck, that sounds good." Noel slid his hands under Cameron's shirt, digging into warm skin. "But I need a shower first."

"Why?" Cameron turned his head, running his nose along Noel's neck, smelling him. It made him groan. "I like the way you smell right now."

"Because it's been a long day and I need a shower." Noel moaned, arching his neck for more. "How about I ride you in the shower, hmm? I know you have that seat built into the side."

Cameron groaned as he sucked on his ear. "Yeah, I do. Fuck, I want to. I wanna see you all wet while you move."

"Let's go." Noel said and pulled him out of his neck and to his mouth. Kissing him as the shuffled back towards the bathroom. "I need you."

"I need you." Cameron replied just as breathlessly. When Noel's back bumped the bathroom doorway, he slid his hands under Noel's shirt, lifting it for him to shrug it off. "I need you so much."

"Sit down." Noel lead him to the toilet seat and helped him sit. "Start wiggling out of those while I start the shower."

Cameron nodded but didn't release Noel's face for him to move. He only brought him in for a series of heated kisses. "Hurry."

"I would if you'd let me." Noel chuckled when he was let go instantly. He opened the opaque glass door and turned on the shower. 

The soft hissing behind him let him know that Cameron was as stiff as he said he was. Noel closed the door and instantly knelt between his legs. 

"I can get it." Cameron huffed, leaning back, irritated. 

"I know. And I can still help." Noel kissed his bare thigh. "Might have been easier to take the brace off first." He pushed the legs of his sweats up and carefully took the straps off until he could slip it off. "Hmm?"

"Yeah. I guess I could have." Cameron leaned forward, one hand pushing through red hair, wishing it could stay that way. "Thank you."

Noel smiled but didn't look up and slid the sweats all the way off, then Cameron's boxers until he was gloriously naked and only inches from his mouth. Only then did he look up and met his eyes. 

"Get your clothes off." Cameron said darkly, his eyes as demanding as his voice. 

Instead of swallowing him down, Noel stood and Cameron instantly moved to his belt, snaking it through the loops until it hit the floor. Then he opened his jeans and Noel barely had time to toe his boots off before they were being jerked down his hips. 

"God, look at you." Cameron pushed his face into Noel's hips, breathing him down. He gave up control of undressing him and opted to smell him, to nuzzle him through his boxers. "I want to taste you."

Noel swayed on his feet, eyes closed as the words did as they were meant to and worked their way across his body, taunting him. 

"I dream about your body baby." Cameron slid his boxers down, growling as he placed a few heated kisses across his hips. "I dream about the sounds you make for me, about how your mouth drops open when I push in that first time."

"God Cam." Noel moaned, almost falling over. He had to grip Cameron's shoulders to keep upright. "That's always my favorite part. Feeling you like that, especially going without it for so long. I dream about your voice, then your eyes close when you come. I miss you coming inside me."

Cameron growled again, bent down and swallowed him until his nose was pressed against heated skin. 

"God!" Noel let his head drop back as the dreams of Cameron's mouth became very real. "Please."

"Please what?" Cameron asked as he pulled back, chasing his bobbing cock with his tongue until he could lick across it. "You ready now?"

"No, but it's been awhile and I'm so worked up that I don't want to come like that." Noel brushed over slick lips with his thumb, not surprised when Cameron sucked it into his mouth. "I want to ride you."

"Help me?" Cameron said once he released his finger and winked up at him. "I feel like an old man."

"Hey, watch it with that old man shit." Noel teased as he wrapped one long arm around his neck and held Cameron's waist. "I'm not too far off from being an AARP member."

Cameron laughed and opened the shower door. "Discounts are the shit baby. Appreciate it."

"Fuck you." Noel shot back, laughing as well. He easily moved Cameron inside and helped him sit down at the built in chair at the far end of the shower. Then reached back and shut the in together. 

"Maybe when I'm healed up." Cameron promised as he leaned back against the cool wall, watching as Noel stepped into the stream of water. 

The words had his cock twitching. It had been a while since Cameron bottomed for him, and he could already remember how good it felt. The way Cameron looked taking him deep, begging for more. Clawing at his back or his ass and those incredible sounds. 

"Goddamn, don't even start." Noel touched his body, down his chest to rub against his nipples until he gasped, then lower to tease his cock. "I can't see that right now or I'm fuckin gone."

Cameron looked all too pleased with that response because that smug bastard just winked at him; a promise for more of that talk later, then began to stroke himself. 

"I could get off just to this." Cameron nodded to their hands, jerking at the same speed. "I can't wait until my knee is better, then I'm gonna give it to you hard."

"I need it hard Cam. I need to feel you so deep I can taste it. Face first in your bed, legs spread wide while you take me." Noel moaned at his own words but Cameron was trying to fuck into his fist as fast as possible. "I love feeling you all over me like that, caging me in."

Cameron stopped stroking long enough to grip both side rails and haul himself up, shaky as he balanced on one leg and the toes of his hurt leg. "I can do it now, up against the wall. Let me, please?"

Noel wanted to say yes, but he couldn't. He didn't. He stepped forward and helped Cameron lower back down until he was sitting. Then he knelt down between his legs as the water blasted against his back.

"As soon as you can." Noel promised, his hands slowly rubbing the instep of Cameron's feet. "Then you can do whatever you want."

Cameron groaned, once again stroking his cock as Noel massaged his feet. Then his ankles, both calves, then a little slower around his knees. It hurt, any touch did, but it felt so good at the same time. 

"I'm supposed to be amped up to fuck, not relaxed baby." Cameron smiled when Noel started to kiss up his bad knee. Soft, lingering kisses. "You can rub me down after."

"Now and after." Noel said and continued to kiss his way up, his hands still massaging as he went. "I know you like it."

Cameron groaned. "I fucking love it baby."

The steam in the shower was like a sheet around them, blocking direct eye contact even when Noel's head was in Cameron's lap. Noel stopped kissing the moment he was in reach of Cameron's cock, hard and ready and currently pushing into a tight grip. 

Noel looked up. "Let me?" 

Cameron bit his lip, then stopped touching himself and let that same hand tangle into Noel's wet hair. "Just for a minute. Then get up here where I can reach you."

After licking his lips, Noel ran his tongue slowly up the base of him. Feeling how hard he was, how he started to pulse the higher up he licked. The way Cameron's legs started to shake, and those soft gasps. 

Just as Cameron was about to tell him not to tease, Noel lowered his mouth, taking him inch by inch until there was nowhere else to go. He groaned as the full feeling, Cameron groaned deeper, pulling on his hair. 

"Hold it for me." Cameron said softly, pushing Noel's hair back to get a good view of his eyes, then his lips. "I love your mouth."

Noel moaned his reply, which only had Cameron moaning again. He relaxed his throat, swallowing quickly just to mimic the pulsing, then started to hum deeply. 

"Shit." Cameron gasped, eyes rolling back. After a moment, he gripped the side of Noel's face, a little stunned by the profile of his face like that; then slowly pulled him up. "That still gets me."

Noel smiled as he pulled off, his hands rubbing over Cameron's thighs. "It's been years Cam, you should be used to it."

"I'm not." Cameron tugged on him, "show me again."

Noel went without a word, taking him back down just to do it all over again. Only this time, he bobbed his head up and down, taking him just as deep but paying attention to the rest of him. 

"That feels so fucking good." Cameron slowly pushed into his mouth. Noel moaned because of it and went faster. "Easy baby."

The warning didn't make him stop. If anything, he moved faster. One hand stroking from his mouth down, tonguing at his split each time he leaked. Noel was constantly groaning around him. He couldn't stop. 

"Noel," Cameron gasped, his face tingling. "Don't make me come. I need to be inside you."

With one deep moan, Noel pulled off, breathless. Cameron was a mess, panting against the wall, eyes heavy, legs shaking. There wasn't even a smile there like he assumed there would be. He was too worked up. 

"That good huh?" Noel asked and stood, groaning at his cock. Harder than ever and in need of attention. "I didn't even do it for that long."

"Yes, that fucking good." Cameron grabbed both his hips and pulled him closer. "Aside from our phone sex call over a week ago, I haven't touched myself."

"Why not?" Noel asked. He gripped both sides of the handrails and carefully straddled his lap, mindful of where his legs rested. "You should have."

Cameron helped steady him with both hands on his ass, squeezing as their foreheads touched. "Because, it's not the same unless I can hear you. My imagination sucks."

"The hell it does. I've seen some of the shit your mind comes up with." Noel pushed his hand between them, gripping both of their cocks to stroke them together. "Fuck… You come up with some freaky shit."

Unable to deny it, Cameron captured his mouth in a deep kiss, eagerly licking into him the moment Noel moaned, stroking them faster. Cameron blindly reached for the soap, pushing it under the water until bubbles coated his fingers, then set it back down and slipped his fingers between Noel's cheeks.

"Cam." Noel moaned between heated kisses. He had one hand in red hair and the other stroking slowly between them. "Get me ready. I need to feel you."

The order was followed quickly. Cameron had him moaning softly into his neck as one soapy finger slipped in, cleaning him quickly before he pulled out for more. Noel clenched around each finger, wanting them deeper. 

"Almost there." Cameron promised, washing his fingers off, then pushed them back in to wash the soap away. "God, you're tight. You haven't played either?"

Noel shook his head, he pulled back when Cameron had a pink mark just under his chin. "I wanted to wait for this. It feels so much better when I wait."

This time when Cameron pushed his fingers in, there were two, instantly working to get him as stretched as possible. Noel dropped his head back into the water, moaning as he pushed back onto them, then forward into his fist. 

"More?" Cameron asked against his ear. 

"One more," Noel begged. It felt too good to stop, even when what came after would feel a million times better. "Then I need you."

Another one was added and Cameron hand to put his other arm around Noel's lower back, keeping him from moving too much. He pushed them in deep, lined up one after another, until he crooked his fingers.

"Oh fuck." Noel moaned, both hands on Cameron's shoulders as he pushed down against them. "Faster Cam, I need it."

"Yeah you do." Cameron grinned, going faster until Noel was bouncing on his lap. "I can make you come just like this, hmm? You'd shoot all over my chest. It would be enough to make me come."

"No, I want your cock." Noel moaned and reached back to pull Cameron's hand away, leaving him empty. He looked over where the water resistant bottle of lube sat, poured a good amount on his hand and slicked him up. "You wanna do it?"

Cameron nodded, teeth clenched. He held Noel steady with one hand while he lifted, then used his other to jerk himself a few times before lining up with his body. Just one slide across him had them both moaning. 

"Slowly baby," Cameron said as he took his hand back and gripped Noel's hip. Blue eyes were already blown wide. "And keep looking at me. I have to see your face."

"I know." Noel groaned, already pushing down slowly. His legs shook instantly, squeezing Cameron's sides. "You feel so good Cam."

Inch by slow inch, Noel took him in. He had to force his eyes to stay open, it was so hard because the overwhelming stretch had him wanting them closed. To savor the moment. But the look in Cameron's eyes made him happy he kept them open.

Cameron ran his hand up Noel's back, then rubbed over his hip, soothing him as he sat all the way down, bottoming out. "Baby…"

Noel leaned his head against his, hands cupping his cheeks, stroking them. "I know. Trust me, I know." He kissed him, making Cameron gasp into his mouth. 

"Ride me."

A shiver passed over his body, enough to have him shifting against him. Noel kept a firm grip on slick shoulders and pushed up with his legs, sliding wetly up his shaft until just his head was inside. 

"Oh God." 

Noel kept quiet except his harsh breathing and slid back down. He rolled his hips in a circle, forcing Cameron's hands shift to his lower back to hold him. 

"Fuck, I love this." Cameron moaned, eyes roaming over slick skin as the water poured down Noel's back. "You look so sexy baby."

"Yeah?" Noel asked halfway through a groan when Cameron nodded. He focused on the width of his shoulders, then how flushed his neck was from his mouth, the way hard abs bunched each time he slammed down. "So do you Cam. We need to do it like this more."

"Minus the leg." 

"Minus the leg."

Cameron pushed his head back against the wall, eyes straining to see between them, to see the way his cock slipped wetly in and out easily. No resistance as Noel was as relaxed and open for him as he always was. 

"I can't wait to have this forever Noel." Cameron said as he touched his cock, slowly rubbing. "Whenever. Wherever. Without sneaking."

Noel let those words seep into his skin, into his bones until he could feel it inside him. It added to how turned on he was; thoughts of their future always amped him up. It always had his blood boiling over. 

"It's gonna be so amazing." Noel moaned when Cameron held his hips, helping him move faster. "Keep talking about it, it's gettin me close."

"Touch yourself while I do it." Cameron kept lifting him up since he couldn't lift himself up and thrust up into him. "I'm already close."

Noel kept one hand on Cameron's shoulders, gripping tightly, while the other moved between them, finally giving himself some attention. "Talk to me Cam."

The loud slap of skin combined with their harsh breathing made it impossible to talk without yelling. "Come closer so I can tell you." When Noel came closer, he kissed his lips first, then moved across his jaw until he could speak into his ear. "I can't wait until we can wake up together, fall asleep together and not have to tell anyone."

Noel groaned into his neck, moving his hand faster. Each word, each promise had him one step closer to the edge. He didn't know if future plans were anything to get that excited about, but he couldn't help it. It got him off like nothing ever could. 

"More Cam, tell me more."

Cameron growled, pushing him up and down faster. In as deep as he could go. "Parties and holidays and every single fucking day with you baby. All of it. All the damn time."

"God," Noel whined, his eyes slipped closed and all he could do was sit there and take it. "Just a little more, I'm almost there."

"Me too." Cameron groaned into his ear, then bit the lobe until Noel started to move, grinding against him. "Then tomorrow, all that wedding stuff…" He paused, feeling Noel's body tremble. "That's gonna be us baby. We are gonna fucking plan everything. Just how we want it, for the entire world to see."

"I can't…" Noel whispered, digging his nails into Cameron's shoulder, leaving pink scratches. "I'm gonna come, right now. Fuck!!" He shut his eyes as he came all over Cameron's chest and his hand. His body started to move again, even with how tired he was. He had to chase those aftershocks. 

The moment Noel came, his hole clenched tightly, squeezing around his cock. Cameron moved his hands up his back, digging his nails in to make marks of his own. 

"Come for me Cam." Noel begged in his ear. "Give it to me."

"Oh fuck," Cameron squeezed eyes closed and came, pushing in as deep as possible until he filled him up. He gripped Noel's sides, hugging him impossibly closer. "Fuck, fuck. God, oh my god."

Exhausted, both physically and mentally, Noel let Cameron accept all his weight, his head resting on one shoulder. Cameron wrapped those long arms around him, rubbing up and down his body while soft kisses were placed on his neck, his shoulder. 

"I love when you talk like that." Noel whispered, sucking wet skin into his mouth. Kissing him, licking him. "I'm not sure coming from it is normal, but it gets me every time."

Smiling, Cameron held him tightly as he leaned forward and turned the cold shower off, leaving just harsh breathing against the silence. "It gets me there too baby. Maybe because we both know I mean every word."

Noel moved, resting his head against his as they smiled. "Yeah. That has to be it. I hear how much you mean it."

"I never say things to you I don't mean Noel, never." Cameron paused to kiss his lips. "And even though tomorrow is just for show, for me it'll be real."

Noel cupped his face, thumbs tracing that sweet, sad smile. "It'll be real for the both of us."

**

"I knew we should have waited." Noel shook his head and carefully laid the ice pack against Cameron's knee. 

He was propped up on the bed, a few pillows under his knee and in pain because they wanted to have sex. It made his stomach twist. 

"Baby, I wanted to. You wanted to. It's fine." Cameron said as he snatched Noel's hand before he could pull away. "The swelling will go down before we wake up."

Noel still didn't like it. Not even when Cameron kissed the back of his hand, wearing that ever present smile. "Take a pain pill for it, cuz it'll hurt tomorrow."

Cameron glanced at the bottle but didn't grab it. "I don't want to take it."

"Why not?"

"Because it makes me fall asleep."

Noel smiled, Cameron pouting was adorable. "Yeah, and? We gotta get up at like 5. You need to sleep."

"I can't take the without food anyway and I'm already in bed." Cameron argued again, finding whatever excuse he could so he didn't have to take it. "Just come lay with me and we can go over some of these lines."

Noel wasn't giving up. "Take the pill and I'll grab the food. We can eat, then go over it, then sleep."

"On one condition." Cameron grabbed the pill bottle and the glass of water next to him. "Walk naked and get it."

Noel smirked, glancing down at his clean boxers. "Fine, but why?" He slipped them off, watching green eyes burning holes into him. 

"Because I love when you're naked and when you bend to get the food I'll be able to see it." Cameron nodded behind him. He had full view of the kitchen outside his door. "Come on."

With a giddy smile, he bent and kissed his lips quickly. "I'm going. Now take it." 

He may have walked extra slow, dragging it out just because. The entire way, he could hear Cameron groaning, he could feel him watching closely. 

"Hurry." Cameron groaned, waving him over as he walked back to the room. "I'm hungry for you, not food."

Noel couldn't dim his smile as he crawled on the bed, bag of Chinese food in hand, naked, and Cameron reached to pull him closer. "Cam, you need food. I need food."

"Fine," Cameron let him open one box and take a bite. "You eat that, but turn for me so I can eat you."

That nearly caused him to choke. He swallowed the bite, then looked over. Cameron was an inch away from his face, lips turned into a smile. "You're insatiable, you know that?"

Cameron nodded. Then kissed him. "Yeah, and so are you." 

"Eat first," Noel handed over the box of food and a pair of chopsticks. "Then work, then me."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Nope, so get to it." Noel winked when he moved away. He opened the second box as Cameron set their scripts between them. "I know we've been over it a million times, but I'm worried."

Cameron kissed his shoulder, knowing why he was worried. "Do you think it'll be too much?"

Noel nodded. "Yeah, I do. It's one thing pretending to be a couple, or mimicking sex, but getting married…"

That was one of the many sore subjects about their relationship. Not because they didn't want to get married; they did, but because it was a series of real, painful emotions. They would get their hopes up, get pulled into that fantasy, only to be let down hard after. 

They would get a taste of that world, of that dream, where everyone could see it, but knew it wasn't real. After, they'd have to walk away from each other until season 11 started filming.

It was depressing. 

Cameron set his food down and turned as far as he could. "I know it's a lot, not just the scene but the emotions." He waited for Noel to nod. "But maybe instead of being nervous or worried, we can think of it as like a trial run."

Noel leaned into him, smiling. "That mean you wanna marry me?"

"Of course I do." Cameron kissed his cheek. "And you don't have to be worried about slipping up tomorrow. We are meant to be happy and get married. We are allowed to touch and kiss and dance and be close without someone wondering why."

Noel glanced down to see Cameron's fingers circling the tan mark from his wedding band. It made something in his heart ache. 

"All we have to do is say the lines meant for us, then let the rest play out. The emotions, the body language, that's all gonna be us. Not them, not scripted, not hidden. That is going to be me and you."

"I know." Noel squeezed his hand, hard. "And that's why I'm worried. As soon as we give in and just feel it, everyone will know."

Cameron couldn't disagree because he was right.

"I won't be able to hide it, not at all that entire fucking time and they'll see it." His voice shook because he didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. And he didn't care. 

"And if they do?" Cameron asked softly, but didn't wait for his answer. "If they come up and ask, or give us that same look Steve does, are we going to laugh it off again, or tell the truth?"

If they laughed it off again, like they did every single time, Noel was sure he and Cameron may not rebound from the emotional impact. Each time they had to lie, it hurt them as a couple, it put a strain on them that lasted for a while. 

Noel didn't want that again. 

But if they told them the truth, then they couldn't take it back. Their friends would know, then Layla would know, then the world. It would be like dominos, one fell into another that fell into another until it was a pile on the floor. 

"I don't want to lie, I never wanted that."

Cameron smiled. 

"And we already planned on this coming summer, right?" Noel smiled when Cameron's widened. "What's a few months early, hmm?"

Words didn't need to be spoken for that answer. Cameron just gripped Noel's face and lead him into one of the deepest, most meaningful kisses they'd shared over the years. 

The food was forgotten, along with the pages smashed in between them. At that moment, they were one person. They shared the same body, the same pounding heart, the same injured soul. A soul that required the presence of the other to repair it. 

They were meant to be together and now they finally would be. 

**

(October 29th, Los Angeles)

"You're quiet." Noel said as they drove, breaking the silence that had been there since they left Cameron's house fifteen minutes ago. 

"Just trying to keep calm, or as calm as possible." Cameron replied without taking his eyes off the road. He did take one hand off the wheel and gripped Noel's thigh. "I'm sorry."

The talk last night seemed to calm them down about today. About the wedding. They decided as a couple to tell the truth if anyone suspected anything during the wedding scene. To let the pieces fall where they may, to let their actions finally speak for themselves. 

But today was a whole new day. They were on their way to work and that talk seemed to slip away, leaving them anxious yet again. 

They'd woken up wrapped up in each other, sharing soft smiles and even softer kisses. Enjoying bed warmed skin and blocking out the world. Only when they got up and around did it click, or come back after being temporarily forced away. 

Coffee had been just as quiet as they were now. They didn't run lines or talk about much besides the weather or the time. Keeping it simple...only now simple just wouldn't work.

"You don't have to be sorry Cam. I'm nervous too, but excited." Noel felt the flutter in his chest and knew what it meant. "A practice run for our wedding, right?"

Cameron smiled and squeezed his thigh. "Right. Now I get to see how you look in a suit."

"You've seen me in a suit plenty of times." Noel smiled. Outside, L.A. passed them by without a glance, leaving them trapped in their private bubble. "This will be the same I'm sure."

"No, it'll be different because this suit is specifically for me." 

An electric thrum seemed to vibrate into his body. The words literally danced their way across his skin. Cameron knew the impact because he was already grinning. 

"Yeah, it will be. The first of many I'm sure." Noel smiled back, his face as hot as the sun. "Now drive so we can go get married."

Cameron stepped on the gas, making his jeep jerk forward. "Right away Mister Fisher."

**

(Warner Brothers Studios, The Gallagher Set)

"God, this is harder than I thought it would be." Noel whispered so the people around them wouldn't be able to hear. "Who knew questions about kids would be so damn hard?"

Cameron gave a loving smile and once again untied the bowtie around Noel's neck. "It's a serious and personal question Noel. For us and for them."

They were on set, getting dressed for the wedding. He and Cameron had a private moment together for their characters, talking, helping each other dress. Reassuring things. Loving things. 

But it was simple compared to what came next for them. 

"It might be easier if you didn't look at me like that."

Cameron narrowed his eyes, smiling a little. "Look at you like what?"

His heart beat faster. "Like that. Like we're all alone and you want to kiss me."

Cameron took a step back, remembering they weren't alone yet. "I do want to kiss you because I love you. And because you look dashing and it would help if you didn't look at me that way."

Through the entire scene, his eyes had been soft. Like saying I love you for the first time soft. Like waking up spooning together soft. Soft in a way he never was with anyone else, not even Layla. 

Noel looked at Cameron like he was the sun, and Cameron looked at him like he was the moon...it was incredibly romantic, mixed in with a dash of tragedy, but overall, it was just soft. 

"I can't help it." Noel looked at him with that same look. "And if this was actually us having this conversation, you wouldn't need to ask me about kids. Or convince me."

"I wouldn't huh?" Cameron took a step forward, then another until they were almost nose to nose. "And yes by the way, to the kids."

The urge to reach out and bring that smirking mouth to his was damn tempting. Only not with so many people around. So he settled on stroking his bowtie, sliding the silk between his fingers, so it looked like he was helping. 

"Bunch of little reds runnin around?" Noel said more to himself as the image of red hair and a mix between green and blue eyes flashed into his mind. "I could get used to that."

"Fuck, that made my heart beat fast." Cameron took Noel's hand and put it on his chest to feel it. "They'd be beautiful."

Noel's heart was in sync with his, beating as one as it did on most of their genuinely heartfelt talks. "Something else to look forward to, right?"

"Right." Cameron leaned down. "I really need to kiss you right now."

"As soon as this is over, you better kiss me until I can't breathe." Noel's hand slipped back to his bowtie, pulling it. 

The room was suddenly filled with other sounds. Talking, moving things, the click of the camera. All things those things that had been on mute the entire time they'd been talking. Once again they shut the entire world out for each other. 

Cameron kept his voice low as he replied. "I already can't breathe."

Noel was about to jerk him forward until their mouths pressed together, when a loud clap echoed behind them. 

"Alright boys. Once more from the top, then onto the wedding." John smiled brightly. "Almost at the finish line guys, just a little more."

Noel ignored John, looking into Cameron's eyes instead. "Ready to do this Monaghan?"

"Always Fisher," Cameron acted like was moving around him, then lightly kissed his cheek. "Always with you."

**

"Fuck, you look good in this suit." Cameron groaned against his mouth. 

They were currently located in Hamilton Beach, at the reinvented restaurant now called The Polish Doll, set for the Gallavich wedding. At the moment, they were in their shared trailer, making sure their suits were all in place for the next scene. 

Only their suits were now rumpled, untucked at the waist with crooked bowties. Cameron had him backed against the counter, one hand down the back of his slacks, eagerly gripping his ass as they kissed. 

Noel didn't even remember how it got that far so quickly. One minute, they stepped away from the busy set to freshen up for their upcoming scenes, then the next minute Cameron was on him. 

"Cam, we can't do this." Noel said as he turned his head to talk, only for Cameron to move to his neck. "They're gonna have to redo our damn make up."

Laughing, Cameron moved back, a little breathless. Noel was more than flushed, his entire face and neck were red. "You look stunning like this baby."

"Well, I'm glad you think so." Noel smiled back, unable to help himself. "But I hate make up."

"One more kiss?" Cameron asked sweetly.

The answer should have been no. One kiss would lead to more. Just like it had moments ago. But Noel couldn't say no.

"Fine, just one." Noel pulled him by his shirt. 

Cameron came willingly, eyes dark. "Promise."

That one kiss was delivered perfectly. Cameron cupped both sides of his face; one of the things that drove him absolutely crazy, the kiss started off slow. Then just as knew it would, it escalated.

He was the one who pulled Cameron closer. Losing himself as he deepened it. 

The loud knock on the door had them breaking apart, nearly knocking stuff off the counter to get away from each other just in time for the door to open. 

Noel turned, walking further away as one of John's assistants walked in. While she spoke with Cameron about getting ready, Noel tucked his shirt back in, hoping she didn't see, then buttons his pants.

"Noel, you ready too?" She asked. 

Noel turned, eyes on her and not Cameron. "Yeah. Ready whenever they need us."

In the corner of his eye, Noel could see Cameron slip one hand onto the front pocket of his black slacks. That hand curled into a fist, and he knew in that moment, that Cameron was playing with his ring. 

The ring he bought him a few years ago, when they decided to do this; to be together even with all the extenuating circumstances. When he got nervous, or upset, he liked to touch it, even if it was already on his finger. 

Noel smiled every time. 

"We are ready!" She smiled and walked out, leaving the door open. 

"This is it baby," Cameron cupped his face again and kissed him deeply. "Don't be nervous, okay? I'll be right there waiting."

Noel nodded, believing him without a doubt. "I'll meet you. I love you."

"I love you more." Cameron kissed him once more, then took the stairs slowly, following her to make up. 

Noel took an additional minute or two, trying to calm the rushing beat of his heart, reminding himself that this was fake. That it was just work. 

By the time he made it out of the trailer, down to let them redo his make up, he was numb with excitement.

Even the place itself had that original wedding feel to it. People dressed in their best, smiling, flowers set at the right places, candles, those crazy expensive chairs...even if there were a million cameras around them, it felt real. 

It felt like this was his and Cameron's wedding, surrounded by their friends and family who knew how much they loved each other. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, one he wanted to keep within himself, to hold it as close as possible so nothing could ruin it. 

"Oh my God." Noel gasped as he stepped inside, instantly overwhelmed. He knew what to expect, but it was still stunning. 

"I had that same reaction." Cameron said and stood beside him, smiling. 

Noel chuckled and he knew it sounded as watery as his eyes looked. He wiped them, sniffling. "It looks so white trash, ghetto as all hell but it has a certain appeal to it."

"Yeah, it really does." Cameron agreed as they looked around, both of their eyes stopping at the altar. "I think it's just how it's decorated, or the people dressed up all nice, smiling."

"I'm excited." Noel whispered, eyeing the length of Cameron's legs in those stark black pants. "My heart is beating fast."

"Alright, everyone take your places!!"

Around them, people were pouring in, some leaving until it was their time. Which meant that they needed to split up, to take their own places and get this over and done with. 

"I'm going to remember everything from this moment on." Cameron moved so he was facing him, instead of beside him, standing as close as their surroundings would allow. "And when we have our day, you won't be wearing a white suit."

Heat rose to his cheeks at the power of that stare and of those words. "What's wrong with this suit? A few minutes ago you couldn't wait to get me out of it."

"And I will try again when I can and succeed, and no white suit because you look better in black." Cameron's eyes lifted, looking over his dark hair. "And you're gonna marry me as a ginger."

Noel grinned so wide his face hurt. "Ginger to ginger wedding only, got it." He winked, making Cameron smile again. "Now get into place so we can do this."

"Kiss me like you mean it." Cameron said as he walked backwards. 

Noel walked backwards also, waiting for his co-star to walk him down the aisle. "I always kiss you like I mean it."

Cameron disappeared on the other side of the room with Jeremy, hidden behind a partition that game them some resemblance of privacy. 

Noel stood on his mark, far enough away from the aisle to be out of sight until it was time, but close enough to make his entrance properly.

His fellow cast members were all in their places, seated quietly while the crew messed with lights and cameras, giving orders left and right. And of course, John was there too. He had to be with this being a major episode. 

"Alright everyone, here we go." John smiled, getting a collective smile from the crowd before falling silent. 

Elise Eberle; who played Sandy Milkovich, the one who walked him down the aisle, moved up to his side, a bright smile on her face. Noel smiled back at her, letting all that unbelievably good energy encase him from head to toe. 

"You ready for this?" She asked, cocking out her elbow.

Before Noel could answer, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He slipped his hand in, quickly input the code and smiled. It was from Cameron.

Cameron: "Don't be nervous. Smile, it's our wedding day. Now come get your husband. I love you."

"What is it?" Elise asked curiously.

Noel shook his head, but typed as quickly as possible. "I love you too Cam, and I'm comin for you."

He sent the message and slid it back in his pocket, just to see that she was still looking at him. Waiting for an answer. "Just someone reminding me how special today is."

Without thinking why not, his eyes moved to where Cameron stood. Still blocked from his view. Noel knew she followed his gaze by the smile hidden on her mouth. 

"Well, you better listen to him then." Elise nudged his arm with hers, offering her elbow again. "Come on you beautiful bride. Time to marry your man."

Noel linked his arm with hers, unable to dull the smile on his face or the way his heart was pounding. It was happening, right this second. 

At last…my love has come along  
My lonely days are over  
And life is like a song…

The moment the song played, Noel kept his eyes were hyper focused on Cameron. He walked with a special kind of elegance, long legs getting him to the altar quickly, his gimp hardly noticeable. Jeremy trailed behind him while they walked, then stood to his left. Smiling. 

"Here we go." Elise whispered, squeezing his hand. 

"God, I can't wait." Noel whispered back. As soon as she started walking, he did too. Step after step, making sure he didn't start crying before it was time. 

Cameron's eyes could be seen from across the room. A little too wide, watery and beautiful. His perfect mouth showing him that private smile, while the rest of the room saw something else. 

Beside him, Noel could see Jeremy leaning into him. Whispering. Making Cameron's smile wider. Noel couldn't help but wonder what was said, but he had some sort of idea when Cameron's hand rubbed at his pocket, touching the ring again.

Years could have passed, when it was only seconds, but he was finally at the altar with him. Elise moved off to the side, as did Jeremy, leaving them standing side by side, emotions on their sleeves.

Noel wanted to tell him how much he loved him, to hold him and kiss him. 

As the reverend began to speak, Noel couldn't help but run through the scripted vows in his mind. Simple vows, nothing thoughtful or original about them, just generic wedding vows with no meaning. Nothing he would ever say on his own wedding day. 

On their wedding day, he would spend however much time it needed to create his own, to pour his heart and soul into those words because that's what he was offering. The best and worst parts of himself.

With a little nudge from Cameron, Noel turned, linking their hands as tightly as possible until their knuckles were white. He felt that anxiety melt away upon looking into his eyes. 

He was home, he was loved and he was Cameron's. 

"I, Mikhalio, take you Ian...to be my husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and cherish you, til death do us part."

Noel's voice shook the entire time, and he knew that Cameron, along with everyone else watching could hear it. The tears in his eyes stayed put, for the moment. But he had a feeling as soon as Cameron spoke, it was game over. 

Cameron took a shallow breath, squeezing his hands. "I, Ian, take you Mickey...to be my husband. To have and to hold you from this day forward. richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and cherish you, til death do us part."

Fake vows or not, genetic sounding or not, Noel felt them inside his bones. Inside his blood, his soul. It was single handedly the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. 

Behind them, a subtle click let them know that the camera had stopped rolling. 

"You guys are golden right now. So are we." John smiled as he stepped up to them. "Unless you guys need a minute, we are gonna power through this part."

Noel never looked away from Cameron's eyes, but he saw that look. The same one he had. "We're good to power through it man. Let's get it done." 

"Excellent!" John clapped and moved back. "And we are on!!"

Just like there had never even been a break, Reverend Sally spoke again. The exchange of rings, then vows...husband and husband. 

Noel squeezed Cameron's hands. Waiting for it. 

Cameron looked over to her, eyes wide, hands shaking. "Now?"

She smiled. "Yes, now."

Noel couldn't even brace for the kiss. He could barely get a smile in there as Cameron gripped both sides of his face and kissed him. He moved his hands to Cameron's sides, nails digging in so he didn’t just float away. 

This was his heaven. Kissing Cameron in front of nearly a hundred people after professing their love for each other. The kiss spoke volumes, it told an entire story and from a few gasping sounds around them, he knew at least a few people picked up on it. 

When Cameron pulled back, Noel cupped his face, smiling up at him because he was his everything. Cameron seemed to be in the same daze, eyes watery as he stroked his cheek. 

The moment their foreheads touched, Noel couldn't keep the tears in. They fell slowly as they looked at each other, Cameron was there to wipe them away, as he always would be. 

After awhile, they turned, hands linked together, addressing the cheering crowd. Right away, Noel could see the people who knew. The people who honestly looked like they were about to lose it. 

Bill, actually had tears pouring down his cheeks, smiling so hard it looked forced. Ethan, smiling as well, but somehow Noel knew the smile was more than a regular one. 

When Cameron squeezed his hand, it let him know that he knew. One look over, seeing the wetness in his eyes, let him see that he was prepared to tell the entire world right now. 

Finally, the love they found within each other was being shared with the ones they loved the most. 

**

"You were so incredible." Noel whispered as Cameron pushed them behind one of the curtains for a moment of privacy. "I hated those fucking vows but I felt it."

Cameron nodded. Kissing him as their tears mixed together. "I felt it too. Fake wedding or not, it was everything baby. It was all us and I can't wait to do it again."

Everyone was preparing for the next scene, moving chairs and adding guests, taking some out. Other scenes that happened outside the building. It left them a moment for each other before the next wave of emotions took over. 

"They know." Noel watched his face for any signs of regret but didn't see any. "Bill, Ethan."

"Jeremy." Cameron added. 

"I figured. What did he say to you?"

"He said he couldn't wait for an invite to our wedding." Cameron linked their fingers, nuzzling his nose. "Just him being okay with it, even finding out like that and still being okay with it...fuck, it calmed me down so much."

"Yeah, me too." Cameron narrowed his eyes. "Elise has a hint after your text. My fault because I couldn't keep my eyes off you."

"I hope you never do." Noel leaned up and kissed him. It was brief, but needed after such an emotional rush, he needed to feel grounded. 

"As soon as this is over, I need you tonight." Cameron made sure to keep the growl out of his voice. "And not for that, but because after all this, I just need you with me."

Sex would happen because of all the emotions, and because they loved each other. But Cameron didn't need him for that purpose alone. He needed to be close, to be touched and kissed. To be told how much he was loved and say it in return. 

"I'm yours Cam." Noel brought their hands up and kissed them. "After this, I'm yours."

Cameron's only response was to push against his head, eyes closed, smiling. It was better than words, or actions. It was peace, finding peace after years of feeling hopeless and incomplete. 

"Come on, let's go. Talk for a minute, drink, then finish this." Noel kissed their hands once more before they split and Cameron walked out first. He took a second, touched his flushed cheeks before he too moved out from behind the curtain. 

Before he could decide if anyone saw them behind the curtain, Cameron was back at his side, with a crying Bill next to him. 

"Noel, uh Bill wants to talk?" Cameron framed it as a question, worried. 

"Okay…" Noel said slowly, trying not to be affected by his crying, his very happy crying. "What's going on?"

Bill chuckled, then grabbed each of their hands and squeezed. "I wanted to be the first to say this, or I hope I am. But congratulations."

Noel blushed, giving a shy smile. "Thank you Bill. And yes, you are the first."

Cameron glanced around them, seeing Ethan wave, subtly trying to get their attention. "First of many it seems."

"I had this feeling over the years. One I couldn't describe or put my finger on, but I guess that's because it wasn't meant to happen until now." Bill continued. "And I am so happy that it has."

Noel was taken back by the sentiment. It wasn't every day that you find someone so open and honest about a sensitive subject like this. One filled with pain and longing, lying and infidelity. 

It had him close to tears already, as was Cameron who looked like he was already crying. "I know it's a bad way to go about it and if I could have done it sooner, I would have…" he trailed off as a lump formed in his throat. 

"Never regret falling in love Noel." Bill gripped his face, smiling. "The journey is always rough, maybe a little painful, but all the best things are worth it. Don't spend your life pretending because of how the world sees you. Be with who you love while you have the chance and never apologize."

Cameron gripped Bill's shoulder, squeezing as he too was pulled into it all. "Thank you so much."

Bill moved to Cameron, gripping him like he did Noel. "You are both very welcome. I hope to hear more about you two when the time is right. But until then, we have work to do."

Bill left as quickly as he arrived, leaving them both shocked, more than a little emotional, and standing side by side where everyone could see them. 

"It's hard to believe people are okay with this." Noel said as he wiped his eyes. "I thought he would be angry we lied."

Cameron nodded because he thought that too. "I thought so too. And not that we need his blessing or anything, but I'm happy he seems to get it, Jeremy too."

"Hey guys."

They looked over to see Ethan standing there, looking a little shy, but smiling just as Bill was. 

"I'm not gonna wax poetic like Bill just did because wow, how can I top that?" Ethan laughed when they smiled at him. "I just want to say that I'm happy for you. I really am."

Unlike Bill, who they just thanked, Noel broke away from Cameron and hugged him. Not one of those bro hugs either where you're afraid to touch. But an honest to God hug. 

"Thank you." Noel muttered, squeezing hard as Ethan patted his back. "It sucked not telling anyone but…"

Ethan pulled back, gripping his shoulders. "Trust me, I get it. And you don't owe me an explanation. I'm just happy you two are happy."

Cameron was next to hug him, dwarfing his on screen brother. One of his closest friends. He didn't need to say anything because Noel said it all, and that's all there was to it. 

Ethan left, just as Bill did and they were left alone. No one else came up to them, but they got more than one smile in recognition. 

"I'm too shocked right now to do much besides stand here." Noel said, staring at the wall closest to him, hoping to find some answers. "It feels really good for them to know."

"Yeah, it does." Cameron motioned for Noel to follow him as they moved out of the center aisle. "There is no going back now baby."

Around them, people got into position once again, getting ready for the dancing part of the scene. Cutting their time off once again. 

"We are in too deep to back out." Noel rose up on his toes and kissed his cheek, out in the open. "Just a little more and it's over."

Cameron was beaming, filled with a new kind of energy. "God, I love you so much."

"I love you too Cam." Noel replied easily, smiling as he backed away onto the dance floor with Elise. 

Cameron moved to a chair in one corner with full view of them and waited. Watching his boyfriend laugh and smile with their friend. He'd never seen him look so happy before. 

"Alright, let's dance everyone!!" John smiled and once again sat behind the wall of screens, directing.

Firework by Katy Perry started up near the end of the song, and Noel held the empty beer bottle in his hand and did his best to dance alone to a song he would never pick. 

From the side, he could feel Cameron watching him, smiling. Probably rethinking his marriage promise after watching him dance, but his mood was too good to let it get to him. 

It was so good that he couldn't even remember why he'd been scared or nervous this morning, and last night. Things were going better than he ever thought they would. 

It was unreal. 

Just when he was starting to get into the song, it ended. He paused to catch his breath, smiling at Elise. Then his song came on. The song he asked for specifically. 

I found a love for me  
Darling just dive right in  
And follow my lead….

The song had a special place for them. Not just because it was an amazing song, that seemed to relate to both of them, but because it had been playing the night they finally gave into each other. Gave into that feeling of love and need. 

It was their song. One of many. 

Noel turned, eyes shining with love and watched Cameron get up and walk to him. Eyes locked onto his own, his face a mix between emotionally broken and immense happiness. 

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love...

Not knowing what it was  
I will not give you up this time…

As soon as Cameron offered his hand, Noel took it, seeing it shake as he squeezed. In seconds, Cameron was on him. Those strong, reassuring arms wrapped around him until he was dwarfed by him. 

Noel slid his hands under Cameron's jacket, eager to feel his body without the added material, and tucked his face into his neck just as the tears started. 

"You always surprise me." Cameron whispered into his neck, one hand holding the side of it, keeping him as close as possible. "I was already crying before I got out here."

Noel chuckled through the tears. Breathing him down at the same time until that smell helped calm his heart. "I couldn't resist."

"I love it." Cameron shut his eyes. Both hands moved to Noel's back, holding him. 

"I loved the one you picked." Noel slowly untucked the bottom of Cameron's shirt until he could feel skin. The jacket would cover it. "At Last? Now who's surprising?"

"It was a hard choice. I almost picked another one."

Noel turned his head to the side, right up against his neck, his skin. "Which one?"

Cameron kissed the side of his neck, hoping no noticed. "That one is for another time baby."

Noel let it go, opting to enjoy the dance instead of waisting the moment with talking. It could always wait until later on. When this moment was fleeting, slipping away before he had the chance to fully enjoy it. 

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath  
But you heard it, darling you look perfect tonight…

"I love you so much." Noel sobbed, unable to keep it in as the words spoke their truth. 

At the gentle quake of his shoulders, Cameron held him tighter, rubbing his hands up and down his back slowly. "Forever, right?"

"Yeah Cam, forever."

**

It was over, finally. The wedding, the dance, even the honeymoon part. Which in all reality was easier than the dance. 

Shameless season 10 was done. 

It left then exceedingly happy, a whirlwind mess of complicated emotions, but happy. At peace and in love. 

Their friends weren't in the dark anymore, soon the whole world would know. As well as one specific person…

Noel hadn't gone home after that. Not even when she kept calling and calling. He shut his phone off and kept in Cameron's Jeep as they went inside. He wanted no distractions, no thoughts of her. Not know. 

He simply couldn't handle it. 

"Need a drink?" Cameron asked as he sat down on the couch, rolled up his jeans and massaged above his knee. "You looked wrecked."

Noel shrugged off his jacket and shook his head. "Not in the mood to drink."

Cameron agreed. They were too raw, too exposed to let any more of their inhibitions go. "Sleep? Shower? Shitty tv?"

"What song would you have played, aside from Etta James?" Noel asked bluntly, tired of running it through his mind for the answer. "You said later and I can't stop thinking about it."

Cameron stood, biting his lip through the pain from standing all day, and walked over to him. "I'll tell you, but only if we dance."

Without hesitation, Noel held his hand out, smiling. Cameron took it, surprising him by giving him a full spin until he fell into his arms, laughing. "Stuff like this is my favorite."

As they started to sway, Cameron narrowed his eyes at the question. 

"Little things." Noel did as he did before and wrapped both arms around his waist, head resting on his chest. "Like dancing. Drives to work."

Cameron smiled, both arms wrapped around him tightly. "Me too baby. Making breakfast is always my favorite."

It was so relaxing that Noel forgot about the song. He was content to rest against his chest with the steady beat of his heart under his ear. Dancing in the living room.

"Still want to know?" Cameron asked quietly after a moment.

"Yeah, but I want you to sing it to me."

Cameron chuckled. "Without music?"

"I want to hear your voice and music would ruin it." Noel kissed his neck, and felt Cameron's lips against his ear. "Your voice is beautiful."

Silence spread around them for a moment. Something Cameron did before he could sing. He needed a moment, just to get ready for what came after and it was nothing short of beauty. 

"Hold my hand." Cameron shifted when Noel unlinked one hand and gently placed it in his own. "Dance with me."

Noel moved back, his arm going around his neck as Cameron's moved to his waist in the traditional dance style. Their temples rested together, giving them access to whisper and be heard. 

"The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful, stop me and steal my breath…"

"Cam," Noel whispered, eyes fluttering shut at the song he'd heard a million times. A song that always melted his heart when he sang it. Listening to every word, every verse.

"And rain falls angry on the tin roof, as we lie awake in my bed...and you're my survival, you're my living proof, that my love is alive and not dead..."

The tears were instant. All he ever wanted was Cameron's love, and he had it for years.

"Tell me that we belong together...dress it up with the trappings of love, I'll be captivated. I'll hang from your lips...instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above…"

The tears kept falling as he sang I'll Be, by Edwin McCain perfectly. They slowly moved in a circle. Pressed tightly together, and danced. 

Cameron paused when the song was almost over, breathing past the tears in his eyes. He kissed Noel's ear, feeling the love that they created together and knew that Noel was all he'd ever want. 

"I'll be the greatest fan of your life…"

**Author's Note:**

> Songs(don't own any of them)
> 
> 1- Etta James- At Last  
2- Ed Sheeran- Perfect  
3- Edwin McCain- I'll Be


End file.
